NOT YOUR NEIGHBOR’S TP

I’m all for doing some good and livin’ green. I recycle hundreds of wine bottles a month. I yell at my husband several times a week to “shut the damn lights off” when he leaves a room. And for years, I was part of the ‘tiny house movement.’ (If you read yesterday’s post, STICK A PENCIL IN MY RETINA, then you know what I mean.)

The point is, I’m all for it. Get out there—hug a tree, save a whale, adopt a highway, send 60 cents a day to the to help that poor abandoned, cockeyed cat in the ASPCA commercial. (Those PSAs make me want to quit life and become a cat hoarder.)

But Wholefoods, Wholefoods, Wholefoods, you have gone too far…

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I certainly do not want to visit the home of the hippie who’s leading this, eh… movement. He probably lives in a tiny house and hoards cats.

I know what you’re thinking: No, you idiot! It’s not THAT kind of recycled paper.

Fine.

But maybe the 365 brand needs to re-think the language on their packaging. A simple parenthetical like: “It’s not your neighbor’s used TP,” might help.

That said, keep recycling People! What do you think paper grows on trees?

And, don’t forget to save that cockeyed cat. I’d do it but cats are just walking boxes of Kleenex and Claritin to me. And with a baby, I don’t need anymore snot in my life.

About Diana Davis

I’m a writer with a blog that will send my kids to therapy one day. Until then I invite you to laugh with me at their expense. Don't worry they love it. They're smiling already—or maybe that’s just gas.
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2 Responses to NOT YOUR NEIGHBOR’S TP

  1. I almost sh_ _ t my pants laughing at this one!!!

    Liked by 1 person

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