HAPPY ANNIVERSARY TOM! (SORRY I RUINED YOUR LIFE)

Every time I see this State Farm commercial I laugh because it’s the true story of my husband Tom’s life. Except in his version when he says, “I’m never letting go,” he has his hands wrapped around my neck.

Then it makes me think about how Tom and I first met and my Italian grandma who should have written fortune cookies for a living. One of her favorite sayings was, “Your true love will be standing right in front of you and you won’t even realize it.”

Turned out she was only half right. He was sitting right behind me when we worked together at MTV in Manhattan. And, I wasn’t the one who didn’t realize it. Then again back in those days Snoop Dog was pretty big and I can remember on several occasions riding the elevator with him for one too many floors and ending up with a very nice contact high. So it’s quite possible that the story of how I met Tom is just something I made up while I was on drugs.

Tom was such a mystery to me. For weeks I thought he went to Hollister University because a lot of his clothes had Hollister written on them. I also thought he was a pathological liar because when I finally mustered the nerve to ask him out for a drink he said he had to play ice hockey that night at 11:30. I would have preferred the “I have explosive diarrhea” excuse.

Then one night we were all invited to a big work party. I remember it because it was the night I wore a push up bra that was two cup-sizes too big for me. So all night long while I was talking to the person on my right, my boobs were talking to the person on my left. In fact, I often wonder if it was my boobs or me that Tom spoke to first that night. Either way, I learned so much about him.

He belonged to an ice hockey team that often played at 11:30 at night. Hollister is a clothing store not a university. And most importantly, just like the poor SOB in the State Farm commercial, he never wanted to get married, never wanted to have kids and never, ever wanted to move to the suburbs. I assumed he was playing hard to get.

Nearly eight years later we’re married, we have a baby and we moved to the suburbs.

So even though it’s not until June, Happy Anniversary Tom! Here’s to “never letting go.” Though it would be awesome if you could loosen your grip just a bit. Oh, and I really hope your true love wasn’t standing right in front of you and you didn’t even realize it. My boobs were pretty distracting that night.

Here’s a picture of poor Tom…
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About Diana Davis

I’m a writer with a blog that will send my kids to therapy one day. Until then I invite you to laugh with me at their expense. Don't worry they love it. They're smiling already—or maybe that’s just gas.
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6 Responses to HAPPY ANNIVERSARY TOM! (SORRY I RUINED YOUR LIFE)

  1. Nicki says:

    Love this!! Didn’t he try and swim away at the ceremony???
    Happy early Anniversary you love birds!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. SharonR says:

    As usual, I laughed out loud, which is a little weird when you’re in a doctor’s waiting room!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Dan says:

    Diana, I was Sprout’s workout partner back when you two started dating. If he told me he had declined a date with you to play hockey I would have smacked in the ear! Well, unless we were playing the Lions or Big League Chew, then all bets were off!
    But seriously, I really liked reading this. It was touching and very funny. Your good!
    Dan

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Pingback: SORRY I RUINED YOUR LIFE (AGAIN), TOM… | The Spew

  5. Sue says:

    So glad I had a chance to read this. You really do have human feelings. Odd feelings…but feelings none the less.

    Like

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