When I got an email from Warby Parker eyewear I thought: Oh shit! The jig is up. They know I use their product to unabashedly stare at strangers behind the protection of their summer collection. Crap.
But as I read the email I quickly realized that I was in the clear. (Thank God! Because honestly, I’m no one without the ability to quietly judge those around me.)
Turns out they wanted me to be a part of their #seesummerbetter campaign and highlight the fun adventures, travel destinations and local hot spots I’d visited this summer while sporting my Warby sunglasses.
Sounds fun. I was in. So I took advantage of their home try-on program and got a few new pairs to take for a spin during one of my most judgmental weeks.
My first stop was Pret A Manger for a cup of coffee. I wore these Crossfields in polished gold.
They made it so easy to stare at the back of this blatant control freak’s head. (Because, let’s be honest, someone with hair this perfectly trimmed wearing a shirt this perfectly ironed clearly has some serious control issues. I’m sure that extra large coffee is because he was up all night schooling his wife on the proper way to load a dishwasher—plastic on top. What a jerk!)
Next I tried out the Winstons.
They were perfect for staring at this guy on the train who had no idea I was reading his texts for a good four stops. Personally I think he can do better. Her grammar is atrocious. But she did suggest tacos for dinner so I guess she can’t be that bad.
I sported a pair of Laurels at my local CVS.
This was awesome because not only was I able to drop off a prescription for Alex’s diaper rash cream incognito (no one wants to be seen buying ass cream) but I was also able to eye these suckers up for a solid five minutes unnoticed while the pharmacist rambled on about his constipated baby.
Then later, this jerk stopped by to stare at me while I was knee deep in a bag of Reece’s peanut butter cups and reading a pamphlet about ass cream. Get some glasses dude!
Ultimately, I decided to stick with the Crossfields. They have just enough tint so that my victims can’t tell which way I’m looking.
But don’t just take my word for it. Get your own Warby Parker sunglasses now and #seesummerbetter…or at least more judgmentally.
I’d like to thank Warby Parker for this opportunity. And not just for enabling my staring problem but for also helping me look awesome while I’m at it—which really is the most important thing because you know, people stare.