Yesterday I asked, “Has anyone seen Alex’s hair tie?” My father-in-law looked down, thought for a moment then pointed to something on the floor, “Do you mean this black ring?”
A few minutes later he held up and Alex’s hair clip and asked, “Did someone lose an earring?”
At first I laughed at him because that’s my natural instinct when people make mistakes but then I thought, holy shit! This is a guy you want around in the zombie apocalypse.
I like to know that when the beans and franks run out that I have someone on my team who will look at my flat iron (yes, I’d have it with me) and say, “Anyone using this defective waffle maker?” Then we’d all sit around eating hole-less waffles (which I think are just pancakes, right?)
A few minutes later he’d take a sip of my skin toner (yes, I’d have that too) and mix it with some tomato juice he found in a dumpster and say, “Not the strongest Bloody Mary I’ve ever made but it will do. Who’s in?” We’d all chug it and a few minutes later we’d probably die and turn into zombies because I’m pretty sure you’re not supposed to drink skin toner. So on second thought, everyone should definitely avoid my father in-law in the zombie apocalypse.
Anyway, if you haven’t heard how excited I am that The Walking Dead premieres tonight then read yesterday’s post, I’m so excited I can eat my own brain.
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