Here are 5 things that made me want to feed myself to a walker on this week’s The Walking Dead.
1. TONY THE TIGER
It’s mind blowing how the same people who can make a decaying cannibalistic corpse eating someone’s intestines look like a clip from a National Geographic nature film can’t create a tiger that doesn’t look like a cartoon. I was waiting for it to hand Carol a bowl of cereal and say, “They’re grrrrrreat!”
2. THEY USED RICK’S SEXY VOICE AGAINST US
How many times last week did you turn the TV on and hear Rick say in his sexiest voice, “I’m not in charge anymore. Negan is.” That promo had me ready for another vomit inducing, brain-bashing episode.
I wanted to see Rick feed Carl to a horde of walkers. Or Negan feed Carl to a horde of walkers. Or Carl feed himself to a horde of walkers. Instead, all I got was a early 2000 CGI tiger and a pomegranate.
3. SPEAKING OF POMEGRANATES…
Who the hell wants to eat a pomegranate in the zombie apocalypse? Like a person who’s been living off of beans and Bisquick for six months has the energy to spend four hours digging out those annoying little seeds only to be left with this mess when they’re done. I think I see Glenn’s eye in there. No thanks.
4. CAROL’S HOUSE HUNTING BALLS
I want Carol to be my realtor.
Only she has the guts (pun intended) to walk up to some poor guy’s house…
bust in, stab him in the skull, bury him in the backyard…
make a fire…
then eat pomegranates with her new boyfriend.
Which takes us to the most shocking part of the episode…
5. THE BIG TWIST
The whole thing was just a commercial for Old Spice.
My sentiments, exactly. Diana, you need to work on your numbering skills. Your comedic skills, however, are excellent. Thanks for the laugh!!
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Hahaha I just fixed that.
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Can’t Stop Laughing!!!!! Good job Diana….it WAS GRRRREAT!!!!! 🙂
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I’ll never be able to look at a pomegranate the same way…
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Well done my dear!, still cracking up!,
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Hahahah! Good review! I’ll admit, I was hoping for more action. I kept saying to my husband…why are the pigs eating the walkers? Wait…who’s eating the pigs? Wait, why does the king want it full of rot? Gah. Until next week!
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Yeah the pig thing totally threw me off. Like do they care they eat walkers or do they not realize it??
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This is hilarious! So glad I found your blog. Your writing is A-1! 🙂
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Thank you!
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You forgot to say how BORING Morgan is. I liked him better when he was full of anger. Now he makes me sleepy with all his zen. Ain’t nobody got time for that in a zombie apacolypse!
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I miss the guy with the big earlobes! He was the only one who ever made any sense.
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