HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Happy 2017! 

As you try to remember where you left your bra last night and start trying to redeem yourself by writing resolutions, remember that there’s nothing greater than the feeling of accomplishment.

So aim low. Really, really low and 2017 will be your best year yet.

If you need some inspiration, here’s a few of mine:

  • Stop dieting and start wearing jeans that are two sizes too big. Someone’s bound to say, “Did you lose weight? Your pants look huge.”
  • Stop buying wrinkle cream. Instead, look younger by hanging out with really, really old people.
  • Don’t smoke. (If you’re like me and you don’t smoke, this is a no-brainer.)
  • Don’t eat swiss cheese, meatloaf, truffles or anything else I hate.
  • Don’t watch, play or participate in any type of sport whatsoever.
  • Continually forget to fill the gas tank.
  • Complain incessantly.
  • Stay awake all night with two babies who refuse to sleep. 
  • And back on this list….Don’t get pregnant. 

Get the gist? Great! Now get started. I’ll even give you your first one: Read and share The Spew as much as possible so that in 2017 it can reach 1,000,000 followers. (Don’t worry there’s only like 999,359 to go!)

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

—-
DON’T FORGET TO CLICK HERE TO VOTE FOR THE SPEW, TOO!

About Diana Davis

I’m a writer with a blog that will send my kids to therapy one day. Until then I invite you to laugh with me at their expense. Don't worry they love it. They're smiling already—or maybe that’s just gas.
This entry was posted in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to HAPPY NEW YEAR!

  1. lapski says:

    this is what i did last year, and it was a great year !!!!!! you missed one, i tell everyone I’m 69, ( I’m only 63 ) and they say i look great for my age !!!!!!! your post are great !! happy new year 🙂

    Like

  2. Grandma Dee says:

    How cute is she? Adorable. Yes, bibs are a necessity when they get to the stage of one spoon in and three back in. Enjoy it now – it does disappear in a few months! Cute blogs. Thanks.

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s