Graffiti Dick

This morning I was stuck sitting on a train that didn’t budge for 15 minutes and while I would normally spend that time cursing out the train conductor and questioning all of my life decisions, instead I spent that time staring out the window thinking about dick.


So many questions (and thanks to NJ Transit) so much time.

Is Dick this artist’s name? If so, I completely understand why he didn’t add a “was here,” to it. Does anybody really need to know where dick was? (Actually, depending on the circumstance, the answer to that question could be a resounding, “Yes!” So, never mind.)

Or, is this artist so passionate about dick that he risked his life to sneak onto the NJ Transit railroad with a can of spray paint to pay tribute to it? And, if so, why the word ‘dick’?” It’s such an ugly word. I prefer, “balls!” Sure, it’s not quite the same but it’s, um, in the same area (ba-dum-bump!)

Clearly, this guy (or girl) has some talent. He should have covered the entire wall (all the way to New York City) with original illustrations of dicks from around the world. The Huffington Post would have definitely turned it into some sappy, emotional political statement and his dick wall would have been immortalized on social media forever (or at least for a few minutes).

Or, maybe this artist was calling everyone on the passing trains a dick. That makes total sense. Though, in that instance I would have went with “asshole,” because there are a ton assholes that ride these trains every day. Myself included. There’s something about the prospect of having to stand on a packed, delayed train for two hours after working all day that makes it OK to toss old ladies and pregnant people out of the way to get a seat.

Whatever the case, it’s definitely the prettiest dick I’ve ever seen.

After about 15 minutes the train started to move again and I was able to get a full-frontal view of the artist’s dick. I captured all :05 of it on camera and to be honest…it was a little smaller than I expected.


About Diana Davis

I’m a writer with a blog that will send my kids to therapy one day. Until then I invite you to laugh with me at their expense. Don't worry they love it. They're smiling already—or maybe that’s just gas.
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2 Responses to Graffiti Dick

  1. janetlanzi says:

    “Whatever the case, it’s definitely the prettiest dick I’ve ever seen.” ????? As your Mom I have a problem with this statement! And now that you have daughters, you should be able understand my concern. Anyway, I admit, you are very funny!!!


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