Kiss My Butt

This isn’t really a blogpost. It’s more of a status update. And, the worst kind of status update. It’s one of those annoying “Look How [Insert Exaggerated Superlative] My Toddler Is” status updates that every new mom shares on social media, usually accompanied by some moderately funny/cute (but rarely interesting) photo of their kid in action. Ug. How annoying!? But since I haven’t posted anything in a long time, here it is anyway. Hey, at least it’s not on Facebook, right?

Alex: Mommy, my tummy hurts. Can you kiss it?
Me: Sure, baby.
[Here’s where I’d put a few adorable kissy face emoticons]
Alex: Thank you, Mommy.

A few short moments later…

Alex: Mommy, my butt hurts. Can you kiss my butt? (Followed by maniacal laughter).
[Here’s where I’d leave a WTF?!?!? face emoticon (Does that even exist? It definitely should.]

(And, in case you’re wondering which exaggerated superlative I’d use in this annoying “Look How [Insert Exaggerated Superlative] My Toddler Is” status update, I’m going with this: “Fucking Hysterical, Brilliant and Exactly-Like-Her-Mother.”)

About Diana Davis

I’m a writer with a blog that will send my kids to therapy one day. Until then I invite you to laugh with me at their expense. Don't worry they love it. They're smiling already—or maybe that’s just gas.
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5 Responses to Kiss My Butt

  1. Mary Wingate says:

    Good to see she’s inherited your sense of humor and she’s giving right back to you already!! And she’s not even three?!?


  2. Nicolle says:

    And here’s where I would click a thumbs up and add a comment like, Too funny! Lol!
    And wait for you to like it back.
    But, seriously, she sounds like she is going to keep you on your toes.
    Nicolle L.


  3. janetlanzi says:

    That’s my girl!!! And yes, she does take after her momma and, I might add, her “ramma Janet” !!!


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