Kiss My Butt

This isn’t really a blogpost. It’s more of a status update. And, the worst kind of status update. It’s one of those annoying “Look How [Insert Exaggerated Superlative] My Toddler Is” status updates that every new mom shares on social media, usually accompanied by some moderately funny/cute (but rarely interesting) photo of their kid in action. Ug. How annoying!? But since I haven’t posted anything in a long time, here it is anyway. Hey, at least it’s not on Facebook, right?

Alex: Mommy, my tummy hurts. Can you kiss it?
Me: Sure, baby.
[Here’s where I’d put a few adorable kissy face emoticons]
Alex: Thank you, Mommy.

A few short moments later…

Alex: Mommy, my butt hurts. Can you kiss my butt? (Followed by maniacal laughter).
[Here’s where I’d leave a WTF?!?!? face emoticon (Does that even exist? It definitely should.]

(And, in case you’re wondering which exaggerated superlative I’d use in this annoying “Look How [Insert Exaggerated Superlative] My Toddler Is” status update, I’m going with this: “Fucking Hysterical, Brilliant and Exactly-Like-Her-Mother.”)

About Diana Davis

I’m a writer with a blog that will send my kids to therapy one day. Until then I invite you to laugh with me at their expense. Don't worry they love it. They're smiling already—or maybe that’s just gas.
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5 Responses to Kiss My Butt

  1. Mary Wingate says:

    Good to see she’s inherited your sense of humor and she’s giving right back to you already!! And she’s not even three?!?

    Like

  2. Nicolle says:

    And here’s where I would click a thumbs up and add a comment like, Too funny! Lol!
    And wait for you to like it back.
    But, seriously, she sounds like she is going to keep you on your toes.
    Nicolle L.
    http://advicewithatwist.com

    Like

  3. janetlanzi says:

    That’s my girl!!! And yes, she does take after her momma and, I might add, her “ramma Janet” !!!

    Like

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