Category Archives: Humor

I should have done this when I was 16

I used to watch 16 and Pregnant and be all judge-y like, “Oh my god! Those girls are so dumb. I’m so much smarter than them.” Then I was 39 and pregnant and suddenly I was like, “Oh my god! I … Continue reading

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Chapter 1: My Childhood Summed Up Through a Bunch of Weird and Somewhat Offensive Shit I Was Told Before I was 12

This list consists mostly of things that my grandmother or my mother told me. But if you ask my mother she will vehemently deny it and if you ask my grandmother, you’re probably a medium and that’s really awesome, but … Continue reading

Posted in apartment living, art, babies, books, exercise, family, fitness, food, friends, fun, good advice, health, hockey, Humor, labor, Love, mad, Marriage, mother, pregnancy, random rants, random shit, the slightly exaggerated story of my life, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Introduction: I’m Writing A Blook. (But You Probably Think I’m Off To A Bad Start Since I Don’t Even Know How To Spell Book.)

I woke up with an idea. I’ll write a “blook”—a blog that reads like book and I’ll release each chapter on my blog as I write it. (Somehow I don’t think I’m the first to think of this.) Then I … Continue reading

Posted in apartment living, art, books, exercise, family, fitness, food, fun, good advice, Humor, Love, Relationships, the slightly exaggerated story of my life, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , | 6 Comments

I’M PART OF A NEW YORK TIMES BEST-SELLING BOOK SERIES

This is fun. I was asked to participate in a project called, A Letter To My Baby. It’s part of the fourth installment of the New York Times best-selling book series, A Letter To My…. Of course I jumped at the opportunity to immortalize my very best, most heart-felt motherly … Continue reading

Posted in apartment living, art, babies, books, doritos, exercise, family, fitness, food, friends, fun, good advice, health, hockey, Humor, labor, Love, mad, Marriage, mother, nipples, pink eye, pregnancy, products I love, random rants, random shit, random thoughts, Relationships, the slightly exaggerated story of my life, The Useless Shit List, travel, Uncategorized, vacation, wellness | Tagged , , , , | 3 Comments

I OWE MY BACHELOR’S DEGREE TO A TUXEDO CAT

They’re probably going to revoke my bachelor’s degree for this. But what the hell! Who needs a bachelor’s degree anyway? (That’s not a rhetorical question. After fifteen years in the work force, I’d really like to know.) I’m going tell … Continue reading

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DON’T EAT DORITOS WHILE BRUSHING YOUR TEETH

I wasn’t going to post today because as my husband says, “Nobody wants to hear from you every day. I sure don’t.” Point taken. But I need to address something very serious. Anyone who uses a blogging site is probably … Continue reading

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WHAT’D YOU POOP IN YOUR EYE?

This may be my last post. I have flesh-eating bacteria. Ok maybe I’m a bit of a hypochondriac. And maybe my mother was right when she assured me that I do not have all of the symptoms of prostate cancer. … Continue reading

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BALLS!

My mother is going to hate this post. I can’t stop saying “balls.” And I don’t mean the kind you use on a golf course or in some other sport that bores me until my eyeballs dry out. And speaking … Continue reading

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I KNOW HOW CHIVALRY DIED

I just went back to work after being on maternity leave for almost six months. When I got on the subway some dude made eye contact with me, nodded then pointed toward his crotch. I know what you’re thinking. Awesome. … Continue reading

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F*** YOU BUZZFEED

FU Buzzfeed! Seriously, FU. I can’t. stop. taking. quizzes. I’m not sure why I need to know what Lindsay Lohan character I am (Lola from Confessions of a Drama Queen) or which celebrity DILF I should hook up with (Tyson Beckford) … Continue reading

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