Category Archives: The Useless Shit List

I’M PART OF A NEW YORK TIMES BEST-SELLING BOOK SERIES

This is fun. I was asked to participate in a project called, A Letter To My Baby. It’s part of the fourth installment of the New York Times best-selling book series, A Letter To My…. Of course I jumped at the opportunity to immortalize my very best, most heart-felt motherly … Continue reading

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THE USELESS SHIT LIST (#248)

Maybe it’s the Sudafed talking (more on that in a minute) but why the fuck are we relying on a European model to tell us where the hurricane is headed? They don’t even get hurricanes in Europe! On that stupid … Continue reading

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THE USELESS SHIT LIST (#246)

Am I the only one who hates soup spoons? It’s as if they were created solely to encourage really loud and annoying slurping. And, the only thing worse than slurping is open-mouth chewing—punishable by hours of behind the back whispering and … Continue reading

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THE USELESS SHIT LIST #245

I recently got into an unmarked car with a strange man who picked me up on the side of the road in one of New Jersey’s most notoriously dangerous cities. The police call this behavior unsafe and irresponsible. The general … Continue reading

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THE USELESS SHIT LIST (#244)

Happy Friday Bitches! Here’s this week’s list of useless shit that will make you moderately more interesting at parties. You’re welcome. 1. The Bubble Lizard. I want one. That’s not true. Lizards are just tiny dinosaurs and dinosaurs hate humans. I saw Jurassic Park. 2. … Continue reading

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