Tag Archives: baby

I should have done this when I was 16

I used to watch 16 and Pregnant and be all judge-y like, “Oh my god! Those girls are so dumb. I’m so much smarter than them.” Then I was 39 and pregnant and suddenly I was like, “Oh my god! I … Continue reading

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Chapter 1: My Childhood Summed Up Through a Bunch of Weird and Somewhat Offensive Shit I Was Told Before I was 12

This list consists mostly of things that my grandmother or my mother told me. But if you ask my mother she will vehemently deny it and if you ask my grandmother, you’re probably a medium and that’s really awesome, but … Continue reading

Posted in apartment living, art, babies, books, exercise, family, fitness, food, friends, fun, good advice, health, hockey, Humor, labor, Love, mad, Marriage, mother, pregnancy, random rants, random shit, the slightly exaggerated story of my life, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

JERRY THE BEAR

An amazing little startup company called, Sproutel asked me to write about their product Jerry the Bear. Without knowing anything about Jerry, I immediately jumped at the opportunity because—OH. MY. GOD! Is he like Ted?! Please say he’s like Ted! I … Continue reading

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THE USELESS SHIT LIST (#247)

Why the hell do we ask if the “cat got your tongue?” What in god’s name were we doing to our cats to make them want to claw out our tongues? Or worse, what were we doing with our tongues … Continue reading

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I’M SORRY JEANNE TRIPPLEHORN

I watched all of Big Love (HBO’s 2006 drama about modern day polygamists starring Bill Paxton and Jeanne Tripplehorn) angry at Tom because “How could a man be such a douchebag and cheat on his wife like that?” And worse, “What … Continue reading

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I’M NOT A MOMMY BLOGGER

I’m not a mommy blogger. Because if I were I would have to admit that I’m a mom and that it’s no longer acceptable for me to get wasted at happy hour, only to find myself still out at 4am … Continue reading

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HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY! I LOVE YOU MORE THAN…

This morning I woke up to a baby covered in shot who smiled big at me then punched me in the face. My heart melted as I gazed at her and thought, Wow, I love you more than… Cheese-Itz Haagan … Continue reading

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