Tag Archives: facebook

What Does Your Favorite Color Say About You?

I was cleaning out my closet when I discovered this… Don’t bother counting. There are 8. Plus this one makes 9. Then I started looking around my house and made a few other discoveries like this unnecessary amount of Earl … Continue reading

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I should have done this when I was 16

I used to watch 16 and Pregnant and be all judge-y like, “Oh my god! Those girls are so dumb. I’m so much smarter than them.” Then I was 39 and pregnant and suddenly I was like, “Oh my god! I … Continue reading

Posted in babies, books, exercise, family, fitness, food, friends, fun, good advice, Humor, Love, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Chapter 1: My Childhood Summed Up Through a Bunch of Weird and Somewhat Offensive Shit I Was Told Before I was 12

This list consists mostly of things that my grandmother or my mother told me. But if you ask my mother she will vehemently deny it and if you ask my grandmother, you’re probably a medium and that’s really awesome, but … Continue reading

Posted in apartment living, art, babies, books, exercise, family, fitness, food, friends, fun, good advice, health, hockey, Humor, labor, Love, mad, Marriage, mother, pregnancy, random rants, random shit, the slightly exaggerated story of my life, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

I OWE MY BACHELOR’S DEGREE TO A TUXEDO CAT

They’re probably going to revoke my bachelor’s degree for this. But what the hell! Who needs a bachelor’s degree anyway? (That’s not a rhetorical question. After fifteen years in the work force, I’d really like to know.) I’m going tell … Continue reading

Posted in apartment living, art, babies, books, doritos, exercise, family, fitness, food, friends, fun, good advice, health, hockey, Humor, the slightly exaggerated story of my life, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

THE USELESS SHIT LIST #245

I recently got into an unmarked car with a strange man who picked me up on the side of the road in one of New Jersey’s most notoriously dangerous cities. The police call this behavior unsafe and irresponsible. The general … Continue reading

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THE USELESS SHIT LIST (#244)

Happy Friday Bitches! Here’s this week’s list of useless shit that will make you moderately more interesting at parties. You’re welcome. 1. The Bubble Lizard. I want one. That’s not true. Lizards are just tiny dinosaurs and dinosaurs hate humans. I saw Jurassic Park. 2. … Continue reading

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IT FOLLOWS (An awesome horror movie. An awesome fitness plan.)

I saw It Follows on Sunday. It’s that new horror movie on Netflix about a girl who is stalked by an evil, unknown supernatural entity. I spent an hour and 47 minutes thinking: Holy shit! What better way to meet … Continue reading

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A FACE ONLY A MOTHER COULD BE MAD ABOUT

I recently gave birth to a baby who looks exactly like my husband and nothing like me. And it makes me mad. Not wire-hanger mad. God no. I love my baby more than anything—even extra sharp cheddar cheese (if you … Continue reading

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