Tag Archives: funny

Graffiti Dick

This morning I was stuck sitting on a train that didn’t budge for 15 minutes and while I would normally spend that time cursing out the train conductor and questioning all of my life decisions, instead I spent that time staring … Continue reading

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BrundleElmo

Alex went to a birthday party yesterday and an incredibly talented balloon artist made her this Elmo. One night in my house with my kids and Elmo looks like this… BrundleElmo. Only a true horror fan will get that reference. If … Continue reading

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What if God is a cod?

I’m a practicing “Bad Catholic.” That means the closest I come to going to mass is shouting, “Holy Shit! Learn how to drive, Jackass!” from my car window at churchgoers who don’t pay attention to traffic signals. I never know … Continue reading

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HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Happy 2017!  As you try to remember where you left your bra last night and start trying to redeem yourself by writing resolutions, remember that there’s nothing greater than the feeling of accomplishment. So aim low. Really, really low and 2017 … Continue reading

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What’s wrong with my kids?

I’ve heard rumors that babies are in the best mood when they first wake up in the morning. And that upon hearing a soft, sweet cooing coming from the nursery, the parents of these babies walk in and are greeted … Continue reading

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MERRY CHRISTMAS! 

It took me like 30+ years, four years of marriage and two babies but I finally did it! I made Christmas cards.  How exciting.  So what do you think it will take for me to actually send them?  Ok, that’s … Continue reading

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The Girls

I have two daughters— a 2-year-old and a 5-month-old and although their names are Alexandra (Alex) and Charlotte (Charley) everyone insists on referring to them as “the girls.” While it’s a totally reasonable (and very accurate) description of them, no … Continue reading

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THE WALKING DEAD SEASON 7, EPISODE 2 REVIEW

Here are 5 things that made me want to feed myself to a walker on this week’s The Walking Dead. 1. TONY THE TIGER It’s mind blowing how the same people who can make a decaying cannibalistic corpse eating someone’s intestines … Continue reading

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I hate this scarecrow.

I told Tom the stick was supposed to go in the ground. He didn’t listen. Now we have the creepiest scarecrow on the block because he’s a stalker. A stalker with a stick up his ass. The worst kind. And, it’s … Continue reading

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‘The Walking Dead,’ Season 7, Episode 1 Review (Kinda): Who’s got a pen?

Ok, so you watched the season premiere of The Walking Dead, right? Did you see that crazy scene when Negan was about to force Rick to cut off Carl’s arm and he asked that guy, Simon, for a pen…and he … Continue reading

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