Tag Archives: game of thrones

I should have done this when I was 16

I used to watch 16 and Pregnant and be all judge-y like, “Oh my god! Those girls are so dumb. I’m so much smarter than them.” Then I was 39 and pregnant and suddenly I was like, “Oh my god! I … Continue reading

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Chapter 1: My Childhood Summed Up Through a Bunch of Weird and Somewhat Offensive Shit I Was Told Before I was 12

This list consists mostly of things that my grandmother or my mother told me. But if you ask my mother she will vehemently deny it and if you ask my grandmother, you’re probably a medium and that’s really awesome, but … Continue reading

Posted in apartment living, art, babies, books, exercise, family, fitness, food, friends, fun, good advice, health, hockey, Humor, labor, Love, mad, Marriage, mother, pregnancy, random rants, random shit, the slightly exaggerated story of my life, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

IT FOLLOWS (An awesome horror movie. An awesome fitness plan.)

I saw It Follows on Sunday. It’s that new horror movie on Netflix about a girl who is stalked by an evil, unknown supernatural entity. I spent an hour and 47 minutes thinking: Holy shit! What better way to meet … Continue reading

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I LOOK AMAZING FOR 55!

Why is it that when women lie about their age and their weight they always go younger and thinner? To me it makes more sense to go older and fatter. Because if I tell everyone that I’m 21 and weigh … Continue reading

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THE KARMA CLEANSE

I was at my mom’s last weekend when I found a shoebox filled with random crap from boyfriends past. As I was rummaging through it, I suddenly realized something very disturbing about myself—I’m a bitch. This news may not come … Continue reading

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EVERYONE IS A JERK

A few weeks ago it was “raining spiders” in Australia—something about drowning and ballooning and a Jet Stream. I know this because since then, I’ve received four IMs with links to stories about it, a photo of a house covered … Continue reading

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PLACE TO PROPOSE OR PLACE TO DROP THE BODY?

I thought Tom was going to propose at least two times before he actually did. The first time, he took me to Dublin. Not the most romantic European city but I wasn’t going to be picky. I had been dropping … Continue reading

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HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY! I LOVE YOU MORE THAN…

This morning I woke up to a baby covered in shot who smiled big at me then punched me in the face. My heart melted as I gazed at her and thought, Wow, I love you more than… Cheese-Itz Haagan … Continue reading

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