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Tag Archives: Kids
Alex went to a birthday party yesterday and an incredibly talented balloon artist made her this Elmo. One night in my house with my kids and Elmo looks like this… BrundleElmo. Only a true horror fan will get that reference. If … Continue reading
I’m a practicing “Bad Catholic.” That means the closest I come to going to mass is shouting, “Holy Shit! Learn how to drive, Fuckface!” from my car window at churchgoers who don’t pay attention to traffic signals. I never know … Continue reading
I’ve heard rumors that babies are in the best mood when they first wake up in the morning. And that upon hearing a soft, sweet cooing coming from the nursery, the parents of these babies walk in and are greeted … Continue reading
I sprained my wrist. For days I had no idea how and I swear the memory loss was from sleep deprivation and not vodka (this time). I assumed it was from lugging around a 35 pound toddler and a 20 … Continue reading
I want to know the name of the very first woman who watched her husband leave for work then plopped down on the couch and said, “Women should go to work too!” Then I want to build a time machine … Continue reading
This is more of a status update than a blog post but I need more than the 140 characters Twitter allows to truly give justice to this tender moment I shared with my husband and my two year old last … Continue reading
Lately I’ve been playing Chopped in my kitchen. It’s that show on the Food Network where they give the contestants a basket full of random shit like kumquats, cotton candy and a hundred year old egg (it’s a real thing) … Continue reading
…so now all of my baby’s pictures will look like this. Is there such a thing as postpartum hysteria because I can’t stop laughing.