Tag Archives: life

Mack N. Cheese

My 2 year-old Alexandra eats Kraft Macaroni and Cheese every single day of her life. Even if I offer her something else (like peanut butter cups and vodka) she’ll still drag herself across the floor and cry until I produce a plate of macaroni and cheese. … Continue reading

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THE USELESS SHIT LIST #245

I recently got into an unmarked car with a strange man who picked me up on the side of the road in one of New Jersey’s most notoriously dangerous cities. The police call this behavior unsafe and irresponsible. The general … Continue reading

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STICK A PENCIL IN MY RETINA

I was looking through some old flash drives today and found this pitch letter I wrote to an editor of some magazine way back in February 2009. I figured I’d post it in honor of Way Back Wednesday (is that … Continue reading

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THREE WORDS: PROJECTILE VOMIT

Ok, back to babies. I’ve got three words for you: Projectile vomit. That’s two. I know. But “projectile” is so disgusting it counts twice. Alexandra (that’s my baby) has never been much of a puker. Occasionally a little spit up would … Continue reading

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