Tag Archives: love

The Walking Dead, Season 7, Episode 3 Review

Here’s this week’s list of things from The Walking Dead that made me want to feed myself to a walker. Who’s The Boss?!! This episode started with the opening credits to the 80s sitcom, “Who’s The Boss?” Were the writers … Continue reading

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What Does Your Favorite Color Say About You?

I was cleaning out my closet when I discovered this… Don’t bother counting. There are 8. Plus this one makes 9. Then I started looking around my house and made a few other discoveries like this unnecessary amount of Earl … Continue reading

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Raw Pork. It’s what’s for dinner.

Lately I’ve been playing Chopped in my kitchen. It’s that show on the Food Network where they give the contestants a basket full of random shit like kumquats, cotton candy and a hundred year old egg (it’s a real thing) … Continue reading

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I should have done this when I was 16

I used to watch 16 and Pregnant and be all judge-y like, “Oh my god! Those girls are so dumb. I’m so much smarter than them.” Then I was 39 and pregnant and suddenly I was like, “Oh my god! I … Continue reading

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DOUCHEPASTE

We ran out of toothpaste this morning. So I rummaged through my cabinets and found some weird PBA-free, gluten-free, low carb, phosphate-free, vegan toothpaste that was in a swag bag from some douche-y celebrity event that Tom went to a few … Continue reading

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I’M SORRY JEANNE TRIPPLEHORN

I watched all of Big Love (HBO’s 2006 drama about modern day polygamists starring Bill Paxton and Jeanne Tripplehorn) angry at Tom because “How could a man be such a douchebag and cheat on his wife like that?” And worse, “What … Continue reading

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THE USELESS SHIT LIST #245

I recently got into an unmarked car with a strange man who picked me up on the side of the road in one of New Jersey’s most notoriously dangerous cities. The police call this behavior unsafe and irresponsible. The general … Continue reading

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HAPPY ANNIVERSARY TOM! (SORRY I RUINED YOUR LIFE)

Every time I see this State Farm commercial I laugh because it’s the true story of my husband Tom’s life. Except in his version when he says, “I’m never letting go,” he has his hands wrapped around my neck. Then … Continue reading

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STICK A PENCIL IN MY RETINA

I was looking through some old flash drives today and found this pitch letter I wrote to an editor of some magazine way back in February 2009. I figured I’d post it in honor of Way Back Wednesday (is that … Continue reading

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A LOVE STORY

Today I’m going to tell you a true story about love that happened to one of my single friends recently. Let’s call her “Sara” and him “Tex.” It goes like this: Sara met Tex while waiting for a taxi on … Continue reading

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