Tag Archives: wine

DOUCHEPASTE

We ran out of toothpaste this morning. So I rummaged through my cabinets and found some weird PBA-free, gluten-free, low carb, phosphate-free, vegan toothpaste that was in a swag bag from some douche-y celebrity event that Tom went to a few … Continue reading

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IT FOLLOWS (An awesome horror movie. An awesome fitness plan.)

I saw It Follows on Sunday. It’s that new horror movie on Netflix about a girl who is stalked by an evil, unknown supernatural entity. I spent an hour and 47 minutes thinking: Holy shit! What better way to meet … Continue reading

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I LOOK AMAZING FOR 55!

Why is it that when women lie about their age and their weight they always go younger and thinner? To me it makes more sense to go older and fatter. Because if I tell everyone that I’m 21 and weigh … Continue reading

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