Tag Archives: working out

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY TOM! (SORRY I RUINED YOUR LIFE)

Every time I see this State Farm commercial I laugh because it’s the true story of my husband Tom’s life. Except in his version when he says, “I’m never letting go,” he has his hands wrapped around my neck. Then … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

QUIT TELLING ME ABOUT YOUR VAG-ANUS

From the moment you discover you’re pregnant, moms everywhere crawl out of their Diaper Genies to tell you horror stories about mucus plugs and their traumatized vajays. And if they’re not telling you in person, they’re sending you articles with … Continue reading

Posted in babies, labor, pregnancy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

21 THINGS YOUR PRE-PREGNANCY JEANS WOULD SAY IF THEY COULD BREATHE

Noooooo! Anything but the pliers. I don’t care about your ribs. Suck in harder! “These jeans” don’t give you camel toe. Your fat ass does. Seriously, even porn stars don’t get this up-close and personal with vaginas. No! You don’t … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments