Tag Archives: writing

Graffiti Dick

This morning I was stuck sitting on a train that didn’t budge for 15 minutes and while I would normally spend that time cursing out the train conductor and questioning all of my life decisions, instead I spent that time staring … Continue reading

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BrundleElmo

Alex went to a birthday party yesterday and an incredibly talented balloon artist made her this Elmo. One night in my house with my kids and Elmo looks like this… BrundleElmo. Only a true horror fan will get that reference. If … Continue reading

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Ouch. 

I sprained my wrist. For days I had no idea how and I swear the memory loss was from sleep deprivation and not vodka (this time). I assumed it was from lugging around a 35 pound toddler and a 20 … Continue reading

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Women don’t belong in the kitchen. They belong at the bar.

I want to know the name of the very first woman who watched her husband leave for work then plopped down on the couch and said, “Women should go to work too!” Then I want to build a time machine … Continue reading

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I’M NOT A MOMMY BLOGGER

I’m not a mommy blogger. Because if I were I would have to admit that I’m a mom and that it’s no longer acceptable for me to get wasted at happy hour, only to find myself still out at 4am … Continue reading

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THE USELESS SHIT LIST #245

I recently got into an unmarked car with a strange man who picked me up on the side of the road in one of New Jersey’s most notoriously dangerous cities. The police call this behavior unsafe and irresponsible. The general … Continue reading

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Getting Published Is Like Finding That Dorito With all the Cheese

Occasionally my posts get republished on other sites and it’s an awesome thrill for me for two reasons: 1.) It means that at least a few people are actually reading my blog and 2.) It means that someone likes it enough … Continue reading

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